Ramadhan is here. Honestly I dont have any particular strong feelings this year. Maybe because Im in the midst of major assignments due soon. Havent slept and woke up to have proper sahur because Ive been up doing my work all night anyway, havent cooked dinner because I was at the studio. But it did got me nostalgic though, Ramadhan always does. Below are memories during Ramadhan that stood out over the years.

7 years old - I lied to my class teacher that I fasted for the whole month because she promised us earlier that who did would get 'duit raya'. In truth I skipped a day, which totally wasnt my fault, the blame should go to those ice cream sold at bazaar behind PKNS Shah Alam for being too tempting. Only another girl and I kononye fasted 30 days. Bangga. And then, and then, and then...it turned out the duit raya was RM1 je. >.<

8 years old - 2nd day of Ramadhan. Was woken up by my sister and I thought it was already time for sahur. So I got all cranky, didnt want to wake up. Opened my eyes and it was only 2 or 3 oclock. Saw my mom crying in front of our room. Dad was on the phone. My grandpa passed away that morning. We drove straight back to Ipoh, didnt have sahur and all I remember was how hot it was that day and how I wanted a cold glass of syrup. Its the anniversary of his passing today in Islamic year. Oh Ya Allah, I miss him.

9 years old - A month without kickball and monkey bars. Lunch hour and recess were spent in the esls room playing jacks or in the library with my nose in a book. Before break fast, my brother and I would go around the block delivering the food to Malaysians mummy took orders from.

12 years old - after sahur we would stay up and help mummy bake kuih raya and kek lapis and I would bring samples to school and persuade my friends to buy. I am obnoxiously proud of my mother's cooking that way.

16 years old - we had to fast at school (asrama). Every weekend on outing day, choice of berbuka was yong tau foo. If it wasnt girls' week, my ex or his parents would buy them for me or would bring me home cooked meals too.

18 years old - at Intec I had the 2 sweetest roommates who spoiled me. For sahur, they would prepare everything, cooked rice, heated the variety of cooked chicken in cans we bought at Giant T_T, made hot drinks, served with the right amount of rice in my plate before waking me up. I called them mak and ibu the whole month.

19 years old - there were weeks when my dad was out stationed so I had to stay home and it was just my mom and I. She doesnt eat during sahur. Usually we would bring her tea or milo upstairs. But she woke up and watched me eat instant roti canai with rendang everyday those weeks.

20 years old - first day of sahur by myself in Auckland. I cried to sleep after.

Career choices should I not become an architect:

1. kickboxing instructor
2. baker
3. locksmith
4. ninja
5. personal shopper
6. spy
7. travel agent
8. soldier
9. ice cream tester
10. salsa dancer
11. tour guide
12. alien
13. flight attendant
14. polygamist
14. poker/blackjack dealer
15. pimp

Umm I should get back to my assignment now and get that master huh. All together now, say: ya think??? T.T

Sometimes I wonder
Have I passed you on a sidewalk?
Did you give me a second glance?
Did we smile and have a small talk?

Or have you walked this same path I've been?
Seen the same tree and all its leaves,
Were you as intrigued as I was,
Thinking why colours change from green?

Do you smell the beautiful scent of flour and butter,
from that small bakery at the corner?
Does it give you the same sense of comfort?
Does it heal you too from all that hurts?

Have you smiled as you looked up at the sun?
Perhaps at the exact same moment I did
Did you think: thank goodness, finally?
Maybe that was precisely what I was thinking.

When its raining and you're alone,
With some jazzy beat as company.
Have you wanted to just dance in the streets?
If so, would you ever dance along with me?

Have you been to this part of the city?
Have you seen that same building?
Did you marvel at its strong facade?
But wonder perhaps it is different inside?

Or are you asleep when I'm awake?
Are we separated by the seas?
If so, would you see the same rainbow I see?
Do you stop and think, oh how pretty, as I did?

Could you actually be doing the same thing
At this exact moment I'm typing?
Have you been wondering like I've been,
When you will finally be with Ruzaireen?

Hahaha okay scratch that last bit. Just wanted to quickly end this lame attempt at poetry so I can proceed to what I actually do best – sleep. Guten nacht.

Something happened today that first I thought gave me deja vu but really just got me nostalgic.

4th grade, or was it 3rd. Phys ed, or some other class. We were learning a country square dance, or something. Haha Im sorry but it has been 12 years, my memory is shot. Sigh sometimes I think a 'pensieve' would be so useful. (Emi, if you remember the deets please help me out)

So the girls had to line up in a row and boys got to choose their partner. And these 3 boys were pushing each other to stand in front of me. Ronald (a tall boy with crazy curly hair), Aaron (an Indian/Sri Lankan American) and Scott (who I had a crush on, dirty blond hair with blue eyes, a mole on his cheek you know, like one Enrique Iglesias used to have, and the sweetest smile). At last, Ronald gave up to dance with a friend beside me. But Scott and Aaron who were best buds kept fighting for the *cough* coveted spot to dance with me. I hate to admit that it didnt end up with some punches and bruises but a classic showdown of rock, paper, scissors took place. I was still flattered though. I remember blushing so hard and when Scott won (!), I acted all cool but must have had a stupid smile on my face. But then it turned out that we didnt actually dance a lot with our partner in that dance anyway, more like 4 steps, link hands, swing kind of dance. Afterwards we had to change partners with the person beside us so I danced with Ronald and that number had a lot more of urm, hand holding lol.

But anyway, yes. Something almost similar happened today that reminded me of that memory. :)

Taking a break from my assignment, to impose my wisdom upon you. Because I care and am a self-claimed expert, so listen. You know how in How I Met Your Mother, Barney introduced the Hot-Crazy scale applied to the female population.


Basically the idea is the crazier the girl, the hotter she has to be for a guy to put up with her (refer here for those unfamiliar).

So applying the same premise, I came up with the *hold your breath*

Yes, the Hot-Loser scale. Remember this, its gonna be a phenomenon. So we meet a guy, and we appoint him a hotness level, the hotter a guy is, the more forgiving we are of his personality. The general problem is certain guys' increase in physical attractiveness is disproportionate to their decency. Lets face it, guys who aren’t as good looking have to work harder to get our attention. An ugly guy makes offensive sex jokes and its over, while a hot guy can treat you like crap and still be the apple of your eyes. Its the truth.

Now, what we aim for is the zone on the left. Anywhere above that line is key. So unless the guy is David Beckham, Brad Pitt or Joshua Jackson who grow hotter with age, then it is unlikely he is going to be as hot or hotter as the time you first met him. Barring plastic surgery, drastic weight loss, hair implants or total personality makeover of course. When a guy starts crossing the red line on our scale, then our tolerance for his lameness should lessen.

Ive listed some guidelines, to start you off:

1. he is too concern with his hair to remember your name
2. he tells you hes in love with you…and Siti and Minah and Nadia and BlaBla
3. he doesnt have a driving license and depends on you to pick/drop him off
4. he thinks highly of himself, he would date another dude who looks just like him
5. he is not interested in, watch or play any sports because he still plays computer games and the only friends he has are in cyberspace
6. he sends texts to you meant for other girls
7. hes disrespectful to women, your friends and family
8. he brags he is the funniest person on earth and you laugh just to feed his ego
9. he stood you up. 4 times in a row.
10. he wears tracks outside of the gym
11. hes the emotional equivalent of a wall
12. he claims all his past girlfriends are in love with him
13. in a conversation, he talks mostly about himself and looks at your boobs when you talk
14. he listens to techno. these guys have excuses for everything.
15. he flirts up a storm with anything that wears skirts. in front of you.
16. he wears tshirts to official functions
17. he points at old people and the disable
18. he screams obscenities over little things and smokes in your face
19. your friends hate his guts
20. people refer to him not by his name, but as “that loser”

The conclusion: If he is not getting hotter, and doesn’t get any nicer/starts displaying douchebag tendencies/gotten lamer, as time progresses, it’s time to upgrade please and thankyou.

One of my favourite novels of all time made into a movie and played by my favourite actress. Rachel McAdams is soooo pretty, I cant even....gah!




The movie will be out August 14th in States but who knows when it'll come to NZ. LAME. I dont want to watch this movie online with crappy quality. I want to sit in the cinema, preferably the bean bag one because that was fun, with my large popcorn and frozen coke, while I bawl my heart out I dont care whos there, til my nose runs and eyes turn red because somehow I just know it will come to that. Thats how I was while I read and reread the book. Its highly doubtful I can wait that long though. But ahh, impatience is not of virtue young padawan, this post's title in a mantra you must repeat to self. Yes, okay Yoda. Goodbye.