Worth more than 140 characters

Counting hours

2011-11-17T18:40:00.001+13:00

Woah haven't blogged in a month. Been insanely busy with....

- finishing my final presentation.
- finishing and submitting my thesis.
- basically finishing university life (hopefully)
- catching up on lost sleep doing all the above
- catching up with friends
- and packing....

because tonight I'm going back to Malaysia for a bit!!! I'm excited and nervous too. Its been ~~one week since you looked at me~~ 7 months. I hope he we it hasn't changed that much.

Anonymous

2011-10-16T16:50:00.000+13:00

Everyday I suppress the urge to talk to you. Because if you had wanted to talk to me, you would have called, bbm-ed, skyped, emailed, snail mailed, came over. But you didn't.

It's only life

2011-10-14T21:53:00.000+13:00

With 12 more days til my final crit (as a student), I am still unsurprisingly and characteristically in denial. Ways on how I still managed to put the "pro" in procrastination during my break intervals include:

1. Baking something, anything.
2. Rearranging my wardrobe to tshirts, tanktops, tops I dont wear as much.
3. Daily dose of TV series
4. Perfecting my fishtail braids or ballerina bun.
5. Waiting.
~~6. Reading the Quran.~~
6. Checking twitter every 30 minutes (now that fb is deactivated)
7. Write in this blog.
8. Then visit other people's blogs
9. Annoying Nas in her room (accidentally deleted her assignment this one time)
10. Trips to the pantry every other hour.
11. Looking up recipes for what I have in the pantry after (refer #1).
12. Unnecessary long showers.

Another thing I've noticed: the more busy I am is proportionate to how needy and bitchy I get. Strange, one would think it'd be the other way around. Oh mang. Cant wait for crit to be over, and yet so afraid to face it!

Not over til its over

2011-10-14T03:28:00.001+13:00

I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN DO THIS.

Telltale signs

2011-10-11T22:05:00.002+13:00

I've noticed when I like a boy:

1. I make the effort to put make-up on (by make-up I mean eyeliner, maybe some lipgloss)
2. Yet let him see me without them and my contact lens
3. I don't talk or joke around as much.
4. I let my ego down sometimes to boost his.
5. I won't be able to multitask.
6. I baby/silly talk (which I never do otherwise)
7. I hand make personalized gifts or cards
8. I put on the expensive perfume.

9. I self sabotage the relationship before it can go further.

10. By being my emotional, sensitive self.

The End.

Just go away

2011-10-08T01:36:00.002+13:00

Been moving the emo rant from twitter to here. Save the followers from my self pity downward spiral. I can feel it in my heart. In my bones. Call it women's intuition. Or paranoia. But I can feel the distance. And I'm not talking about kilometres.

Last kiss

2011-10-06T08:51:00.004+13:00

All that I know is ;

I don't know how to be something you miss.

Keep calm and carry on

2011-10-06T06:50:00.003+13:00

During the 3 hours of sleep I had last night, I woke up twice. And both times I felt like crying. Until I eventually got out of bed and decided to snap out of it.

2 more weeks to go. Pull yourself together Reen.

Bitter heart

2011-10-06T00:53:00.002+13:00

This is me pulling away. Shutting down.
Walled up.

The other side of crazy

2011-09-29T12:43:00.005+13:00

Found this picture I photoshopped years ago in my laptop. I'm a diehard David Archuleta fan, and used to feel he belongs with Jojo. And since The Lake House is one of my favourite movies, I made this poster of them together. Made sense right? Right? Umm yeah I once had to much time on my hands. =.=

The original images I used:

For the record

2011-09-28T04:31:00.001+13:00

I hate daylight savings. I hate that I'm 5 hours ahead. I hate that the day is longer than night. I'm an owl person. So having shorter hours at night doesn't work for me. It also feels like I'm always waiting. Waiting for people to wake up, when I'm already half day through. Waiting for people to finish work when its already my bedtime. It sucks is what it is.

Where I wanna be

Let's?

2011-09-27T12:55:00.000+13:00

Let's not hold back,
Let's just give in.
Say what we mean,
Then deal with it.

Let's drop our guards,
Let's drop everything.
Give all you got,
Or leave with nothing.

Let's not pretend,
Let's not be friends,
You know how I feel,
Why are we waiting?

Let's not play games,
Let's meet halfway.
If you let me in,
There I will stay.

Let's relive each memory,
Let's make a new start.
Take me by surprise,
I take it to heart.

Let's lose ourselves,
Let's follow my lead.
Have faith in this,
Whatever 'this' is.

-R

Work in progress

2011-08-12T05:08:00.004+12:00

Deep down I'm still the timid, reckless and insecure person I always knew I was. And I think it is beginning to show too. Please oh please dont be put off. I'll be better when I'm older, I promise.

9 Ramadhan 1432

2011-08-09T10:36:00.004+12:00

My fourth day of fasting. Think I finally found my groove and am now in the spirit of the holy month. A few days before I still linger in front of the pantry looking for snacks in the middle of the day.

Sixth year of fasting overseas. I'm not fazed anymore. Nor do I feel real longing to fast back home. I miss it. Not the bazaar or the food, or the atmosphere. But the people. To break fast, sahur and terawikh with my family. That is all I miss.

Still a lot of things to improve myself on this Ramadhan. Hopefully I'll be less lazy with studies as well as 'ibadat'. And to not be too driven by emotions and to be clear headed. May this month bring out the best in all of us and hope that the habit stays even after it ends.

Better than good

2011-08-07T06:18:00.003+12:00

You set it again, my heart is in motion

Every word feels like a shooting star

What doesn't kill you

2011-08-01T00:57:00.005+12:00

A month since my last post. 2 weeks ago uni started. 2 weeks ago I was also on cloud nine. But the past week my patience, emotion and integrity were tested.

I knew what I signed up for carrying this responsibility on my shoulders. I cant possibly please everyone. But honestly its not like I dont try. I knew there would be times when I'll be faced with situations I have little or no control of. Ie. people talking shitty stuff about me. But what matters is how I respond to such situations.

I read somewhere that, people bring you down because you're above them. And that feelings are fleeting. It might feel at the time that you'll be angry forever, but in time you'll get over it. And now I am over (and above) it.

So nway, Ramadhan is here. Too bad its my time of the month and I missed the first night of terawikh. Pssh, I knew I was way too over emotional last week I knew it. The obvious "red" flag was me crying last night for no reason at all. Pretty funny now thinking back because I was sobbing myself to sleep for reasons that I cant remember. PMS why u make me a crazy person??!

Brownies with milk

2011-07-05T21:47:00.003+12:00

Just baked a tray of brownies. Now let's see how much I can eat before I totally hate myself. And how long I will hate myself for. Joy.

When did I become this person?

In mourning

2011-07-04T21:52:00.004+12:00

I think I blogged too soon. My computer is still not working properly. It says "disk read error occurred" every time I want to turn it on. So tomorrow another friend is coming to open it up. Hope it'll be okay. I dont have the moolah to buy a new hard drive, let alone a new computer.

Technology's bitch

2011-07-02T13:47:00.006+12:00

Phew my computer is okay. Hairi came over and reformatted it. Even upgraded it to Windows 7. But the thing is now it has no programs what so ever. I only have the cd to archicad. So I have to wait til Hairi comes over again to install all those necessary programs like: itunes, skype, and microsoft office. In that order.

Talk about starting over and rearranging my life. If I had to describe this semester break in one word it would be: cleansed.

Blue Valentine

2011-06-30T13:58:00.003+12:00

Watched Blue Valentine the other day. Overall it was a pretty depressing movie. But there was this one part which stood out. Where Ryan Gosling's character said something to this effect:

I feel like men are more romantic than women. When we get married we marry one girl because we are resistant the whole way until we meet this one girl and we think I'd be an idiot if I dont marry this great girl. But it seems like girls get to a place and time where they just pick their best option. They spend their whole life looking for prince charming and then they just marry a guy who has a good job and is gonna stick around.

I know this is not particularly exclusive to every female. I know of people who marry their long term boyfriends and those who marry because theyre so wildly in love. I just wish one day I'll be as lucky.

Pause and Rewind

2011-06-29T21:28:00.003+12:00

Typing this at the computer lab. Alone.

My computer finally decided to fail on me. It wouldnt start, and when it did, dia hang after a few minutes. All those time I had to do my schoolwork, I kept puting it off. Now padan muka kau. Hopefully it'll be okay after reformat. Please, please, please let it be okay. Haih.

Break is almost over. I didnt do squat how???

How to win at life

2011-06-28T20:08:00.006+12:00

When I was 9 I moved to a new school. One day in class my teacher asked us to write on a piece of paper what we knew about 'multiplication'. Mind you at the time math was still taught in bahasa at my old school. So I had no idea what 'multiplication' was and wrote down NOTHING. When in truth I had already memorized the multiplication table up to times 12.

So a few weeks after that my teacher thought that I was basically a child genius for catching up so quickly from not knowing anything. She complimented me in class and wrote raving praises in my report card. I was the envy of my classmates.

Moral of the story is: always lower people's expectations of you. And then blindside them with your awesomeness. It worked when I was 9 and it works in 'Survivor'.

Stereo Hearts

2011-06-28T09:38:00.003+12:00

Keep me inside your head like your favorite tune,

And know that my heart is a stereo that beats for you.

My heart's a stereo

It beats for you so listen close

Hear my thoughts in every note.

(thanks Diyana for sharing, now I cant get it out of my head) :)

On moving on

2011-06-28T00:36:00.004+12:00

Do you know how right after you rearranged your stuff, you'll automatically look for them at the previous place you put them? Like I moved some things in the kitchen, the cutlery from second drawer to the top. And a couple of times already today, I pulled the second drawer on impulse before realizing it.

Sure its normal, its programmed in your brain. But I still think its freaky, that a couple of days from now I'll get used to reaching the top drawer for my spoon and then in a few weeks, I'll forget completely that the cutlery had ever been in the second drawer.

Like it never happened.

Kitchen de-stress

2011-06-27T19:40:00.005+12:00

So since I'm off rice for a while - which to be honest I dont know why I put myself through this since I'm generally fine with how I look, probably just wanna prove to myself that I can, it's not like I havent done it before but whatever. Anywayyy...I've been making new stuff in the kitchen which I think are simple to make, and delish too, and did I say simple. Thought I'd share them here. Nothing groundbreaking. Preparation time: less than 30 minutes. I rarely cooked this year since I'm living alone, cooking for one just seemed sad. So lesser prep time and quantity of food have been my top priority. Hmm I can make nasi beriyani ayam goreng in 30 minutes but I digress. =.=

Tuna in Pita bread

Ingredients:

1/2 can of Tuna (flavor of your choosing)

1/3 chopped onion

1/2 sliced carrot

1 tomato

2 sliced mushrooms

Pinch of lemon and pepper (or garnish of your choosing)

4 leaves of lettuce

1 pita pocket cut in halves

Prep:

Mix them all up in a bowl and stuff it in the pita bread. What I do is I put the stuffed pita in the oven for 5 minutes to get the pita bit crispy. Give the meal a bit of excitement and elements of surprise sikit. Asal bolehh. Simple and healthy...kot. How much carbs are in a pita bread? :/

Yee Mee Bandung

Ingredients:

1 knot of yee mee

1 packet of instant mee bandung adabi

1 egg

1 cup of water

Bits of chicken breast

Onions, carrots, cabbage what have you

Mushrooms, tomato whatever you have in the fridge basically

Prep:

The instruction is at the back of the instant packet. The mee bandung paste is not that hard to make from scratch though but udang kering is so expensive here that I dont bother. Another option is yee mee hailam which is still just throwing everything in the pan which I am a fan of.

Credits to Shanis for giving me this idea. And the yee mee haha. I dont know how healthy this is than rice. But heck it's delicious anyway. At the end of the day, the throat wants what the throat wants, ya know.

Rice is my vice

2011-06-26T13:10:00.003+12:00

One week without rice and I'm already dreaming about nasi beriyani, nasi kandar, nasi ayam, nasi lemak, even nasi goreng with telur mata, ikan bilis and serunding. Whuck! How am I supposed to last another 3 weeks on bread, crackers and bihun?? Serves me right for gaining that 2.5 kg last time I went back to Malaysia in April. Shyto. I need me a distraction.

:)

2011-06-23T21:12:00.005+12:00

His smile is insane. Not that it makes him look insane. But it has this insane ability to make me feel like my jokes are the funniest things ever. I didnt understand how a smile could light up a face before. I do now. The glow is so intense that I find myself looking down every time, not able to look directly at it. It is insane.

And also unfair. Haih.

Clean Slate

2011-06-22T15:10:00.003+12:00

A couple days ago, I woke up one morning and had the song 'Start of Something New' in my head. The one from High School Musical. Random. And from there I thought it was time to reorganize a couple of things in my life. And one of them was to start afresh with this blog. 5 years, 200 or so posts, 10k hits wiped clean.

I'm hoping to write more frequent here. Just short posts from now on, probably nothing deep or emotional. And mostly complaints and random rants of the day. For some reason I haven't been tweeting a lot. So this blog will hopefully be my go-to place to just let my thoughts out without expecting anyone to read or 'like' or 'retweet'.

So here goes. Post numero uno: some things are better ~~deleted~~ reset.